One of my closest friends had asked if I wanted to be her plus one on a girls trip to a hot air balloon festival. She had also invited another friend that I had recently met and one of her good friends also joined us. I was really looking forward to the trip. It had been a while since I had planned a girls getaway.
In the last few months, I had lost my best friend, not in death but the relationship was longer what it once was. When I realized it, it hurt just the same as losing her in this world. I had to grieve and find the acceptance that her life priorities had shifted. We kept planning to get together and each time, she would cancel, over and over again.
Then one day, I stepped back to realize that when we spoke on the phone it was rarely about me or to ask how I was doing. That even when she knew I was having difficult times, she didn’t call or text to check in. But, when she was having a difficult time, she would call for support. It was a one-sided friendship. So, I stepped away.
As we prepared for the girls trip to the winery, we got together for brunch to discuss plans. What we were wearing, where else did we want to go for shopping, restaurants and all the other things. I was so excited to have more genuine girlfriends and it was the first trip with my close friend. So, let’s get this adventure started!
One of the ladies picked each of us up the morning of the hot air balloon festival then off we go on our 4 hour road trip through the hill country of southwest Texas. We all talked and laughed non stop all the way there. It was a beautiful day, partly cloudy and not as hot as it can be on an August day.
We arrived at the winery where the festival was being held, each grabbing a glass of wine then checking everything out. They had safari animals, live music playing and different little photo props all around the property. We went on safari tour, then decided to sit in our VIP area and watch the polo match. After a while we wanted to go take some photo’s of the world’s largest pizza and some at the photo props so back to the festival area we went. In hindsight, this is where it all began to go wrong but we didn’t realize until much later.
A beautiful evening event, taking pictures, watching more polo then having dinner at the VIP tables. All of us waiting for the hot air balloons to come out and us getting enjoy our tethered rides in the night sky, we were so excited!
Instead of the beautiful evening, my close friend ended up having to “take care of me” as my behavior was out of character and unusual to say the least. At the time, she was frustrated thinking that I had “too much to drink” and just couldn’t hold it together. They ended up taking me to the car and one of the friends who is a nurse immediately said someone put something in her drink. My close friend, you really think that happened?
We got to the Airbnb, I suppose I was trying to attempt to get out of the car and I fell face first onto the concrete driveway. Busted my lips, hurt my nose, gave myself a black and scraped my nose. Along with a concussion and terribly hurt my back, neck and jaw.
The next morning, I woke up mortified, confused, hurting and thinking did I really get wasted on wine?? I had never gotten blackout drunk on few glasses of wine, I was so just so confused. I walk into the living room where my close friend was sitting and she asked how I was feeling, which I replied I am mortified and I am sorry. She said nothing in return. She left for a walk and I went to rest. When the other ladies got up, I went to apologize to them as well and immediately the friend that is a nurse said “No! Do not apologize I am convinced someone put something in your drink!!”
As we all three sat there to replay the events from the previous day, I realized the last clear conversation I remembered was when we went to take photos at the props at 3pm. We did set our drinks down to take pictures, which hindsight was the wrong thing to do. As my close friend returned from her walk to hear what was being said, she did not join the conversation. As I was speaking, I had made mention that as many times as we had been drinking together she would know if my behavior was out of the ordinary, of which she still said nothing.
I powered through the rest of the weekend because I didn’t want to ruin the plans we had made. My eye was starting to bruise more, my lips looked horrible, but I held on still posing for all the selfies for our girls weekend. I could tell that my close friend was annoyed with me, kind of distancing from me a bit. The nurse friend and I were walking together a little further back from the other ladies as we were talking about what had happened to me the day before she made mention I don’t think your close friend believes your drink was drugged. I said, yeah I could tell she wasn’t convinced of it. But the nurse insisted she sees it all the time and she knows that’s what happened and for me not to give it a second thought. All I could do is try not to let the entire ordeal upset me or ruin the rest of the trip.
As we were driving home, still talking almost nonstop about all sorts of things, we still continued to try determine who, what and where someone could have put something in my wine. One of the ladies said you know, I really wish you would have bought a drug test just to give yourself peace of mind as to what was put in your wine. So the nurse friend helped me find what to buy on Amazon and paid extra for it to be delivered the day I got home. The close friend, still not saying a word.
When I say she is a close friend, let me elaborate, we have been friends almost 10 years. We went through our divorces at the same exact time. I help pick up her girls when they need rides, she has a key my house since I live alone for safety reasons. We saw each at our worst during the divorces and we have supported each other as we have grown far past the bad decisions. With these bad decisions, we have been drunk and acted like fools together many times.
We arrive back in town, I could barely move by the time I got home. I was so sore, dizzy and just overall exhausted. I sit down to FaceTime my daughter and she just about lost it when she saw my face, it really did look like I got my ass beat. We talked for hours through the whole ordeal, retraced all my steps, all the discussions I had with the two friends and still so confused.
Then the drug test arrives, which then confirms that I was drugged. The emotions that immediately come over you when your validated are overwhelming. I knew in my gut what had happened, but still somewhat doubted myself.
My girlfriends all had a group text so we could share the excitement getting ready for the trip so I shared the results of the drug test which is when my close friend finally accepted the situation.
Weeks later we saw each other and she acted as if nothing had ever happened, asked how my “ankle” was feeling because on top of everything else I had also slipped and hurt my ankle the same weekend but made no mentioned of my concussion, black eye or busted lip?? As time went on, she still never ever asked how I was or mentioned the event. Not one time, she absolutely acted as if the entire ordeal never happened to me at all.
For those of you who have been through something like this, you understand the feeling of someone taking away your control and making you feel like a victim. The victimization is real and emotional, it’s not something you pretend didn’t happen. You cannot just act like it didn’t happen, it’s a violation. I decided to speak to my counselor and also share my experience on social media as a PSA all friends, parents, sisters and daughters that this can happen to anyone, anytime and anywhere.
My close friend is on the social media platform I shared the ordeal on and never made a comment, our friendship has since parted ways. I believe God shows you the true character of the people around you when you least expect it. I believe that He knows the words that are spoken about you in rooms you are not in to defend yourself in and in my gut, the conversations had changed when I began to grow past the relationship.
Please stay safe, watch out for yourselves and your friends, if they begin to act out of character seek help. It’s always better to be safe.
~Many Blessings
Her Resilient Journey 