I have always had an incredible career, blessed beyond words to work with amazing people. All of them strong in their faith and all very respectful coworkers.

I work in the construction industry, so using the words respectful is ironic but it really isn’t. I started on the insurance side of things, in an office professional working in legal, accounting and underwriting departments.

Then, I transitioned to the general contractor side of things, which is a different world of construction but I love it. I love the challenges that happen everyday, those always come and I have always loved it.

Over my career for the construction side, my background is heavy in finance and accounting. Somewhere along the way with upper management changes, that changed.

I have a strong sense of right and wrong, a common sense for “best practices”. When you work with a company that has a “we’ve always done it this way” mentality, you learn very quickly that you can be the outsider in most all ways.

So, I came into my current company over 10 years ago as an Accounting Manager with the original goal of being an Asst. Controller for the region. I honestly just giggled at that sentence, if only I knew what I was walking into! It hasn’t been all bad at all, but what a ride!

About 5 years into my position, there was an upper management change and my direct supervisor changed to a younger (which isn’t my issue) controlling, micro managing type personality. Not only was this her professional style, she also came across as belittling and back stabbing in her management methods. Needless to say, it didn’t last long when I made a complaint to the CFO. After that, I had a dart board on my back and within 8 months, I was removed that position.

That’s a polite way of say she wanted me fired but because I had generated such respect within the office, many managers fought to keep me with the company. So, I made the decision to stay unknowing what I would be doing.

Fortunately, whatever was handed to me, I had (and have) a strong desire to succeed. So, with each challenge, I made it happen. From implementing our operations software with our accounting software to training in the software system across the company.

Then, I had the opportunity to move into an operations position handling a joint venture relationship in Boston. I loved the challenge so much! Getting to know a different demographic, traveling, a new culture of people and being exposed to another segment of our work.

As this was all happening, the division I was assisting needed help navigating the companies policies and best practices within a new construction division, so here I come! My boss asked me to figure out how they work and implement our processes within their division.

Little did I know this would be the most difficult and worst year of my career. The division manager was a bully and so many other things that it isn’t even worth explaining. Everything I tried to implement, he would undermine or stall or act as if he wasn’t aware of the process. He verbally spoke down to me and often spoke ugly about our coworkers and the company. All while trying to manipulate me into thinking we were a team and if he left, I was going with him.

I didn’t realize for well over a year that he wanted me in every meeting, every call to back him up. I was doing all the work and covering his ass all the time. It was a disaster beyond belief, but once I realized how overwhelmed, overworked and emotionally drained I was…I took a huge step back from the office. I stayed in the field training and working with the field teams and far away from him. As I did, the rest came to light to others so all I all, I was letting him fail. Eventually, he was demoted and left the company. But wow, what a mark he left on the project teams, the projects and me.

Having been surrounded by so many incredible people in my career who empowered me to grow and succeed, supportive and positive, this was a nightmare I never expected.

My career had always been my safe place and escape from my personal life. Which is why I worked so hard, such long hours and relentless in being successful. I didn’t mind the sacrifice because I enjoyed the challenges and the respect that came with succeeding.

It’s been over a year since he left the company and I realize how much that year derailed my career path. I transitioned into a new role in our legal department handing defaults and insurance claims. I like learning something new but it’s not nearly as challenging as I am used to. I am still trying to get used to the slower pace, less demanding role and having a lot of time on my hands.

When I look back on the year with this bad division manager, I feel like I left an abusive relationship. I never made all the issues known to the company but it’s clear by every employee that worked with him that it was a horrible experience.

It’s crazy to realize that such a bad experience at work can affect you in such a way that you feel beat up and worn down. I have had to heal from this the same way I had to heal from past personal relationships. I just didn’t realize it until recently that I was holding onto the pain of being treated so badly by someone I worked with. I just for granted that work was my safe place and it wasn’t at all that way.

In the process, I have also accepted that I didn’t need to give so much of myself to my employer. I now have a very healthy work life balance that I have never had and if I am being honest, didn’t know I needed. It has allowed me to focus on other areas of my life such as a healthier lifestyle. A better relationship with myself, God and my kids. And whenever I meet the next partner in this world, I will be in a better place to give it an honest attempt to succeed rather than sabotaging it with work first and life second.

~Many Blessings